On The Run
by Louciferish
Summary: Most of the people Tony dealt with in boardrooms and convention centers were idiots, and Bruce Wayne, well, he was an idiot too, but at least he was interesting. - A story that was about making Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne friends, but then got completely derailed.
1. in the rear view mirror

Tony had always liked business meetings that involved Wayne Enterprises far more than any other meetings he was forced to attend. Most of the people Tony dealt with in boardrooms and convention centers were idiots, and Bruce Wayne, well, he was an idiot too, but at least he was interesting.

Most of the idiots liked to talk about profit margins like they knew what that meant, and then divert into talking about golf or their golden retriever's pedigree or some utter bullshit like that. Bruce Wayne didn't pretend he knew anything. Bruce Wayne fell asleep in meetings when he remembered to show up at all, and his usual contribution to the discussion was more likely to be a vaguely offensive pun than a blatantly false generalization about modern technology. So, although Tony had never managed to talk Bruce into socializing outside of business negotiations, he liked him.

Tony liked him even more now that he was standing in the massive ballroom of Wayne Manor, discovering that Bruce had this unfortunately-named kid. "My ward, Dick," Bruce had said, introducing them, and Tony had barely managed to hold his tongue on a series of obvious jokes. Then Bruce had swanned off with a glass of champagne in one hand and the hand of some lithe, champagne flute-shaped woman in the other. Tony couldn't imagine any authority deciding that Bruce Wayne could be responsible for a ten year-old, but money did have a lot of advantages. Peeing in the Iron Man suit that time had probably ruined any chance Tony ever had of randomly adopting some kid off the street, which was something he didn't consider a great loss before meeting Dick.

The kid liked Tony, too, and he was really enthusiastic about it. He said words like, "Gosh" and "Gee", and Tony liked that as well. He kind of wanted to take him home just for that, introduce him to Steve and listen to them go "Golly!" and "Gee willikers!" at each other for hours on end. Dick would like Captain America, judging from the way his face lit up while telling Tony about one time when Superman had rescued Bruce and Dick had gotten to meet him.

Dick was also asking Tony a lot of questions about the Iron Man, which was pretty typical for the rare occasions when people trusted Tony Stark near their children, except every once in a while there'd be a question stuck in there about hardware or specifications for the suit, and that made the kid even more interesting.

So now Tony Stark, billionaire playboy who could be getting very drunk and very laid right now if he so much as smiled in the right direction, was at a party full of beautiful women in form-fitting dresses and wealthy men in tailored designer suits, talking to a boy who was too young for even Rhodey to feel comfortable making jailbait comments about. The interesting questions were timed along a pattern that Tony had noticed pretty quickly.

"Gee, Mister Stark," Dick would say, all wide-eyed and totally refusing to call him Tony. "Did you really take on a whole ship full of aliens from Carrea on your own?"

"Well, mostly. I mean, Hawkeye tried to help a little, but a flare arrow just doesn't have the same firepower as the repulsors."

"That is so cool. None of the guys at school will believe I got to meet you!" Dick was bouncing on his toes slightly. "I've been wondering, though... In order to make the repulsor beams, do you use a synchroton particle accelerator or a cyclotron?" The kid was either incredibly earnest or an Oscar-caliber actor with the way his face never even twinged spitting those words out.

It was stroking Tony's ego, so he'd probably have kept talking to the kid regardless, but he was also engaged in this little game, trying to figure out where these questions are coming from.

Did Bruce accidentally adopt himself a miniature genius, or was this being engineered? It could be that the kid just had an interest in engineering and technology, or he could have been coached by someone - Bruce? - to get the information for other reasons, like corporate espionage.

The latter idea was especially interesting because it meant someone had decided Tony would open up to a wide-eyed kid instead of trying to seduce him with a leggy blond like they usually did. Then again, if it just happened that Dick was secretly a brilliant mechanical mind, well, he was probably starving for some real challenge after spending most of his free time with "Brucie".

Tony was still trying to feel out how much of the curiosity was really coming from the kid when the thugs kicked the door in and then threw a couple canisters of knockout gas into the ballroom. Tony dove instinctively, then glanced over to find the kid already on the floor beside him, his jacket lapel covering his mouth and nose. Tony flicked his eyes over at the nearest covered table, and then slithered over to it on his belly with the boy crawling after him.

Pepper was under the table, of course, with Tony's briefcase. "Mister Stark," she said placidly. "I see you made a new friend." Her voice was polite, but her eyes clearly said, "Anthony Edward Stark, I saw you talking to this impressionable youth all night, and I want to know what the hell you are up to."

He knew she'd get it out of him later. Meanwhile, he pasted on his most charming smile. "Ms. Potts, this is Dick, um-"

"Grayson," Dick said, reaching around Tony to take Pepper's hand. "It's nice to meet you. I'm sorry the party's been crashed. It's one of the hazards of living in Gotham."

"I kind of like it. Bad guys never crash my parties in New York."

"Tony, you live with an internationally-known team of superheroes."

"Right, that's right. Still, this is exciting, isn't it," he stretched out his hands for the briefcase before Pepper said something sarcastic about prioritizing. "I just love mixing business with pleasure." He flipped the case open, stuck his hands in, and pulled the portable suit into place, watching Dick's eyes widen. He made a mental note to spend more time around people who hadn't seen the suit before. His friends just weren't impressed enough after watching Avengers training exercises on a regular basis.

Suit latched onto all the important places, Tony gave Pepper a two-fingered salute. "I'll be right back, really. You won't even notice I was gone." And then he slid out from under the table and threw himself into the air.

The thugs, who had been in the process of divesting sleeping beauties of their valuables, stopped. Iron Man was not on the list of things they'd planned for. Tony landed in the middle of the ballroom, and one of the thugs (Tony had to give these Gothamites points for guts) broke from the others and charged at him with nothing but a crowbar. Tony grabbed the crowbar mid-swing above his shoulder, and so did another hand, black-clad.

The thieves went white, dropped their goods, and ran like they'd suddenly remembered they left the stove on at home. Tony turned to find him face to face, bare inches from Batman, and lifted the Iron Man mask.

"Man, Bats, you do make an impression on your people down here, don't you? They didn't react to me like that. Then again, I'm not sure I'd want them to. Doesn't sound like much fun if everyone just runs off when you show up."

"Leave," the Batman growled. "Before I make you." And then he was gone.

Tony just shook his head and took off the rest of the suit, then headed over to start opening windows to help air any remaining gas from the ballroom. The third window he hit stuck halfway, and suddenly Dick was beside him, helping to push it up. "I don't know how often Alfred opens these," he said. "I'll let him know this one needs to be oiled."

"Thanks. Sorry you didn't get to see much action there," he added. "But Batman, hey, that's pretty cool, right?"

The kid shrugged and shook his head. "Gotham. Between you and me, I'm a little bored of Batman. I feel like I see him every day... practically."

Pepper joined them at the windows, having emerged from her hiding place and straightened her hair, and within a few minutes they had finished their rounds of the room and every window was standing open.

"Well, kid," Tony said, looking around at the people on the floor who were just beginning to stir. "Thanks for the help. Time to get you back to Daddy, um... Where is he?"

Dick looked around and laughed. "He probably took off before those guys even got here, and hid off somewhere else in the manor. He gets a little bored at these businessy parties where pretty much everyone is old or married."

"Tell me about it. Well, let's go questing."

"He's not my dad," Dick said suddenly as they set off through the big double doors and down the hallway. "He's more like a buddy, really. My parents died."

"Yeah? Mine too."

They found Bruce in the study, already in his dressing gown, feet propped up and a newspaper spread out on his lap. "Tony! Dickie," he exclaimed. "Is everything alright?"

"Oh, fine," Tony said, picking up a decanter of amber liquid from the sideboard that caught his eye. "May I?" Bruce nodded. "There was a little incident, but your guests should all be waking up about now. Luckily, I was there... and Batman too, I guess. Your friendly neighborhood superhero isn't exactly Mister Smiles."

"Batman doesn't like other heroes in Gotham," Dick said. "That's what Superman told me, at least, when he saved Bruce that time. Batman sees Gotham as his burden alone."

"Well, I can't imagine trying that in New York or L.A., but more power to him, I guess," Tony said. The study was nice, homey. Tony took a big swig of his bourbon. There was a huge antique grandfather clock at the back of the room that seemed to have stopped. It looked off, somehow, broken but so clean, and shouldn't Bruce be able to get that clock working if he wanted to? Tony could probably fix it.

"You work with a team," Dick said suddenly, standing in front of Tony and pulling his attention from the clock. "Do you think Batman would be better off working with other heroes?"

"Oh, probably. I mean, I don't always like my team, and I sure don't like living with them most of the time - you don't know the meaning of 'rude awakening' until you've been woken up after only a couple hours because Thor threw his hammer through the living room wall and into the Hulk's bedroom - but we probably accomplish a lot more as a team than we would if we all just squatted on the architecture in our own individual cities."

"So you think Batman would be better off with a partner," Dick was smirking now, and that was curious.

"Yeah," Tony joked. "But who would ever work with that guy?"

The party was over. The guests were slowly picking their valuables from the piles abandoned by the thieves, some stopping to pat Tony on the shoulder as they shuffled out to their limos, but most just ignoring him, like they were embarrassed that this disheveled, casual guy had saved them, and man, Gotham really was nothing like New York. The only thing that was really the same was the reporters, making Tony squint while he waved to the cameras. He wasn't sure if the Batman would like it, but it had seemed easier (and shinier) to take full credit for the rescue instead of explaining his first ego-bruising encounter with their local celebrity.

"I love going to meetings with Bruce Wayne," Tony told Pepper as they settled into the car and Happy slid into the driver's seat. "Seriously, why are we not better friends?"

"I thought you spent all night talking to his kid instead?"

"Yeah," Tony said. "He's a bright kid. I kind of want one for myself. What do you think, Pep - would I be a good dad?"

Pepper's face softened a bit, in that way that Tony loved but rarely got to see without nearly dying first. "Yeah," she said. "Actually, I think you'd be a really good dad, Tony."

Tony leaned back into the seat for the long drive home, closed his eyes, and smiled.


	2. what the headlights show to me

When Tony Stark had found out Bruce Wayne was Batman, he'd mostly been disappointed. No, that's not entirely true. First, he'd been pleased. The Bruce he'd known before had been something of a kindred spirit. Finding out they were also in the hero boat together should have increased those feelings, maybe edged them toward a real friendship, but then S.H.I.E.L.D. had actually sent Tony to work with the Batman (an assignment he may, in fact, have volunteered for) and it all went wrong somewhere around, well...

"Too slow," Tony crowed, shooting up from the ground over Killer Croc's head, then spinning to blast him lightly in the back. "C'mon, I have shoes made from your cousins that are more dangerous than you!"

Tony flipped back around to tag Croc with the repulsors again, but Batman had already thrown a weighted net around Croc. Before Tony could stop, the beam zapped through the mesh, and Croc used the opening to tear through and make a break. Batman turned, kicking Iron Man directly in the arc reactor and sending him crashing into the nearest wall. "Stop screwing around," he growled, "and leave me alone. Robin is more mature than you. Go back to New York if you want to play."

The Bruce Wayne that Tony had known was a lie, and the real Bruce Wayne was just another of a long line of heroes that made Tony feel irresponsible and inadequate.

Worse than the lie that was Bruce Wayne, though, was knowing that he had turned that kid- that bright-eyed, eager child that Tony had met- into a part of all this. Tony knew there were teens with powers out there, that there were more every day, but that didn't mean he had to like it, especially when it was a kid without powers following his legal guardian into this.

After that, Tony didn't like Bruce Wayne anymore. He avoided Gotham, and he avoided any more assignments to work with the Justice League and their associates, so while Hawkeye, Widow, and Cap were off in Metropolis helping out the League, Tony was in Manhattan on Stark Industries business. He was bored.

He'd had a dull meeting with a bunch of dim-witted executives who couldn't talk to him without stuttering, and he had his evening tied up with a dinner meeting with more executives and their hawkish wives, but that was still two hours away, so now he had to occupy his own mind somehow.

So he went shopping for electronics.

Tony liked electronics stores because they had absolutely nothing that impressed him, but sometimes companies were very bad at keeping their products secure, so it was easy for Tony to have a little harmless fun with them, and every once in a while he found something he could take home and manipulate into greatness, like that corded phone receiver that he bought for Steve to hook into his iPhone so he'd feel like he was talking into a phone instead of a cold slice of brick.

Tony was temporarily amusing himself by using the phone in his pocket to flip channels on every television in the building, baffling the store employees, when he caught the news report.

There was a monster in the East River. It was huge, purple, and slimy. It had tentacles, and four eyes that Tony could see on the film footage, and no obvious mouth.

Huge, slimy alien monsters were Tony's favorite. There was usually no human element to worry about with them, just an obvious danger to take out, and when you took them out they went "BOOM" and then "SPLAT", which was good fun no matter how you looked at it.

Tony figured since he was in the area, he'd get the jump on things before Fury called him in. In a few minutes he was in the back of his car, in the portable Iron Man suit again, and then on his way out to the river.

When he got in sight of the Purple People Eater, he realized someone else had beat him to it - several someones, in fact. Several very small someones.

There was a girl in some sort of short-skirted junior patriot getup flying circles around the creature with a length of rope, a boy in red zipping around in front of and sometimes on top of the thing, and a third kid standing in the water, waving a trident. As he hovered, observing, a fourth little caped figure appeared, and began scaling up the side of the thing, springing over and across tentacles before flipping onto the creature's head. Unbelievably, he paused there to do a handstand before springing off over the thing's backside and diving beautifully into the river.

About the time he hit the water with barely a splash, something flashed and smoked on the monster's head, and it started to wail, apparently possessing a mouth after all in the vicinity of its stomach, which was sort of an efficient design.

Intrigued, Tony swooped in closer, blasting off a beam into one of the thing's eyes before landing on the shore. "Hey kids," he yelled. "Where's the grown-up around here?"

The one with the cape came trudging out of the river, shaking water out of his hair. "I'm the leader of this team, Iron Man." Tony peered at him, piecing together the costume in his head - cape, mask, bright colors, tiny little green pants, big fat letter "R" over his heart, weapon in his hand shaped like a bat, and...

"Robin!" Tony grinned, wrapping an arm across the kid's shoulders and squeezing him maybe a bit too tight. "Oh my God, kid, I haven't seen you in, what, four years? You're bigger! And flippy! How's school? How come I never hear from you?"

Robin coughed and pushed futilely at Tony's arm until he finally let go. "I'm good, okay. And yes, I grew. Teenagers do that. I'm also, um... little busy?" He gestured behind him, where the other kids were still poking and mostly irritating the Purple Meany.

"Right, alien guy," Tony said, smacking his palm into his helmet. "We should get that first. Hey, you have any more of those little bombs you put on its head earlier?"

"Yeah, I have-"

"Great, just a second," Tony said, grabbing Robin by his armpits and flying over to the creature. "Hold on tight and be ready." Robin immediately looped his left arm across Tony's shoulders to hold himself, and Tony blasted the monster in one of its three remaining eyes with another repulsor beam. The thing opened its mouth to screech, and before Tony could say the word Robin was already tossing a beeping device straight into its gaping, toothless maw.

The couple of working eyes the thing had left blinked in confusion, and its tentacles all flew to its mouth, but then the beeping suddenly stopped.

BOOM.

SPLAT!

While they were all futilely wiping the resulting purple slime from their uniforms, Dick introduced Tony to the rest of his "Teen Titans".

"I do not understand," Aqua Lad said, scrubbing at himself with river water the rest of the team wouldn't touch. ("I think the water smells worse than the goop," Robin said, sniffing his cape and wrinkling his nose.) "Aqua Man had told me the Avengers would be assisting the League today."

"Yeah," Tony said. "Well, I don't really get along with-" He glanced over at Robin, "Um... some members of the League. It's my tragic past or something. Besides, someone has to hold down the fort and keep you kids out of trouble, right?"

Kid Flash looked indignant, while Wonder Girl's glare spoke of painful and precise murder. Right. Teen Titans probably weren't into being called "kids".

"Hey, post-monster-killing celebratory pizza on me?" Tony tried to look hopeful, and yeah, everyone looked must less interested in dismantling him now. "We can go back to the mansion?"

That one cleared everything up.

Once all of the kids (teens, teenagers, young adults, right) had showered and been outfitted with robes to wear over their passable underclothes, Tony gave them an abbreviated tour ("Yeah, we'll just skip this hallway," Tony said, stepping back over the tripwire he'd instinctively avoided. "Black Widow sleeps in the bedroom at the end.") By the time they were done, the pizza had arrived and soon Tony was laid out in his usual spot, feet up on the sofa, because these fine things were his and he could abuse them if he wanted. Robin, still in his mask but otherwise looking comfortable, flopped down at the end to watch Kid Flash devour his pizza in the slightly disturbing way you'd expect from a teenage boy with an accelerated metabolism.

"How can you watch that?" Tony asked in awe. "Also, how can you keep that mask on?"

"Adhesive," Robin grinned. "Batman says if I get in the habit of taking it off outside HQ, I could wind up doing it in front of someone I shouldn't, and that could endanger not just us, but everyone we know." He frowned thoughtfully, and then looked down to pick at the edge of the couch cushion. "Do you think it's more fun, having everyone know who you are?"

"Fun is not the word. Flying is fun," Tony said, matching his smile to Robin's and knowing they agreed on this. "It's easier, in some ways, because I do most of my heroing during the day, and I have a business, and eventually it would get noticed if I kept missing meetings at the same time Iron Man was caught fighting a giant robot, and also did you know superheroes totally have groupies? All you secret-identity types are really missing out there. I'm lucky I guess because I have no one that can be used against me," and the chuckle there sounds forced even to him, but might pass muster with the younger crowd at least. "My best friends are a computer, Captain America, and Pepper Potts. You met Pepper."

The kid snorted a laugh, kicking his bare feet against the side of the couch. "That'd be like someone kidnapping Batgirl to get to me. They'd have more trouble with her than I could ever give them."

Nodding, Tony realized that the pizza had disappeared and was presumably now fueling the kid who looked to be vibrating in his chair. "Jarvis," Tony said. "Put on a movie, please, and make it something R-rated."

"Aww yeah," said Kid Flash, bouncing. "Popcorn?"

"And popcorn," Tony added.

Tony was startled awake seemingly a moment later by a large hand resting on his shoulder. He looked around in confusion, noticing that the movie had ended. Aqua Lad and Wonder Girl were slumped together in the arm chair, and Robin was sound asleep at the other end of the couch, frowning faintly under his mask.

"I found the other one in the kitchen," Steve said from behind him. "Making a sandwich the size of Hulk's head. I didn't know we were taking in strays."

"Tony Stark's School for Gifted Youngsters," Tony said, rubbing his head back into Cap's hand until he started scratching Tony's head properly. "They followed me home. Can't I keep them?"

"No, I'm pretty sure they all have homes and families to go back to, and I'm also certain that fourth one would eat even you out of house and home."

"I keep up with Bruce and Thor's needs," Tony said indignantly, then pointed down the couch. "What if we just kept that one?"

The space between Steve's eyebrows wrinkled very profoundly when he frowned, something Tony always noticed and somewhat perversely enjoyed. "You do realize they aren't actually pets, right?"

Tony chose to ignore that question, and instead prodded Robin with his toes. The kid jerked alert immediately, hands grasping at his waist for weapons he didn't have, which made Tony feel vaguely guilty for waking him. "Hey Rob," he said. "I hate to kick you guys out but your uniforms should be dry and Captain Boyscout here says it's past curfew."

Robin nodded, turning to Tony, and then froze his gaze somewhere over his shoulder. Tony couldn't actually see his eyes widen with the lenses down on the mask, but he could guess. He smirked, remembering his thoughts about bringing Dick home to meet Steve at Bruce's party. "Oh," he said, pure innocence dripping from every word. "Have you guys not met? Robin, this is Captain Steve Rogers, A.K.A. Captain America. Steve - Robin."

Robin jumped up promptly from his seat to shake Steve's hand, blushing and holding his robe tightly closed with the other. "Pleased to meet you, Captain Rogers."

"You can call me Steve." He smiled like apple pie wouldn't melt in his mouth, the smile that launched a thousand propaganda posters. "I've heard a lot about you, Robin, not just from Tony but from Superman as well.

"Gosh," Robin said breathlessly, to Tony's delight. He was tempted to steeple his fingers and cackle, a mostly-benevolent mastermind.

"I hope Tony has been a good host," Steve said, like he hadn't just opened his mouth and let this kid's dreams spill out. "I'm sorry I couldn't get back sooner so we could talk more, but maybe you and your team would like to come back some time and use the training room? Superman said you were a very talented acrobat."

"Oh, do you guys do that stuff?" Robin asked excitedly. "I'd love to do some training here. Do you have a pommel horse? We have uneven bars at HQ, and a balance beam. Do you do martial arts? Watch this!" He jumped to the back of the sofa, then went into a backflip before landing into a horse stance.

Then he realized that his robe had come untied and everyone - Steve, Tony, the newly-awakened Aqua Lad and Wonder Girl, and Kid Flash, standing in the doorway from the kitchen - had all seen his Superman boxers.

"Gee, we should really get going," he said, wrapping the robe tightly around himself and trying to hide his red face in his own chest. "Titans, dressed and back to the tower to review today's mission." He paused and nodded to Steve. "It was nice meeting you."

"You're out of lunch meat," Kid Flash said as he trotted by them. "Sorry."

When the last one had headed out the double doors, Steve finally stopped waving and turned away. "Tony," he asked slowly. "Why were all those teenagers undressed?"

 _Dear Batman,_

 _Please send to Avengers Mansion immediately one boy, codename "Robin", care of Tony Stark-_

No.

 _My Dearest Brucie,_

 _Just writing to let you know I simply adored meeting your ward at that party you had_

 _four years ago. What a pip! We have recently become reacquainted and-_

No.

 _Dear Mr. Wayne,_

 _Can Dickie come out to play? I promise to have him home before dark._

No.

 _Batman-_

 _I am writing you to humbly request the presence of your sidekick partner, Robin, at_

 _Avengers Mansion for a training exercise, beginning at 10 A.M. and running until question_

 _marks._

Oh, for Christ's sake.

 _To: Batman_

 _: Superman_

 _My apologies for contacting you this way, but Tony was quite insistent that a formal letter was_

 _the proper thing to do._

 _I recently had the honor of meeting your partner, Robin, for the first time, and he is a very_

 _impressive young man. I know you are probably very proud of him._

 _Tony has told me that he was fond of Robin from their first meeting, apparently before he_

 _was Robin. He is a bright boy and reminds me in some inexplicable way of my boyhood_

 _friend, Bucky, whom I lost in the war._

 _Tony feels, as I agree, that with the number of younger heroes on the rise and cooperation_

 _between teams increasing as new threats emerge, the Avengers would greatly benefit from_

 _experience working and training with someone like Robin and his teammates in the Teen Titans._

 _As a result, we would like to invite Robin to come stay with us at the mansion this coming_

 _weekend, to train and accompany us on any missions that might arise._

 _Please write back at your convenience._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Captain America_

 _P.S. - Ask Dick if he prefers Skittle or M &Ms. And tell him to bring a sleeping bag!_

 _Love,_

 _Tony Stark_

Bruce looked from Clark's ridiculously large, even smile to Dick's hopeful, wide-eyed face and

sighed. "Really?"


	3. On the Run Interlude

For years Tony had expected it would be the booze that eventually killed him, though more than one of his intimate acquaintances had expressed the opinion that he would actually die when his dick rotted off because of an exotic STD. These days, the top of his Life Expectancy Threat List was more Doctor Doom than Jim Beam. Something so mundane as a heart attack had never even touched the top 10, but he was revising that now.

The first thing he saw when he walked into the training area was one Dick Grayson AKA Robin the Teen Wonder, swinging upside down from a trapeze, which was not unusual. The next thing he saw was a headband with a rather small target on it sticking out from the top of his ruffled black hair. The third thing he saw was Clint with his bowstring drawn, aiming straight for the kid's hairline.

'I am going to die,' Tony thought. 'This is it. My arm is going numb. I smell burning toast. I hope I die quickly and someone immolates me immediately so that Batman doesn't get his hands on my corpse, because he will find a way to bring me back and kill me again.' "Oh my god, Clint," Tony said. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Surprised, Clint loosed his arrow, and Tony closed his eyes. He reopened them only when he heard Dick laughing. "That. Was. Awesome," the kid grinned, still dangling upside down, with an arrow lodged neatly into the little target. "I'm pretty sure Speedy couldn't make that shot. Actually, I'm not sure Green Arrow could make that one."

Clint was smirking. "Well, they've probably never had to make it before."

"Holy shit, Barton, what were you thinking?"

"Uhhh... Training exercise?"


End file.
